Just last week while I was chatting with a Chinese friend for language exchange, I came across the idea that maybe I could continue my undergrad education in China. It was a sudden stroke of inspiration that came about thanks to this friend's casual, almost-jokingly-mentioned suggestion, but the more I think about it the more it seems so right. The tuition is much less expensive, there are plenty of schools with linguistics programs (more than Korea anyway) and English-taught courses, admissions are relatively easier for international students, I could apply for scholarships more easily than NY, it's only about 2 hours away from Seoul by plane, and I could pick up Chinese a lot more quickly. I could finally fulfill my dream of completing my education, or at least continuing with it, something that would make me a lot happier than being stuck in an office all day (not that I actually hate my current job).
Anyway, so I'm googling a bunch of schools in China, and looking through all these application requirements, and now I see that I'll need to take the SATs and TOEFL all over again, because my scores have long since expired. And it's different this time because unlike when I was 17ish, with no job and no responsibilities, I'll have to juggle all this test prep with a full time job, since for now I'm the sole breadwinner and I've got mouths to feed (my mom's and my own). It's slightly intimidating, but strangely enough I don't feel so worried. On the contrary, I feel a lot more comfortable this time, and more confident. Not because I feel like I've grown smarter or because I'm a lot older and experienced since my last exams - well, maybe a little bit. It's just that this time I'm more aware of the fact that it's really not such a big deal. I don't feel any pressure to get the best scores possible (although, obviously, I'll still study hard), or to get into an exceptionally prestigious university, or to not disappoint my parents. For me now, university is an option, and I'm really not so hung up on outcomes. If I get into the school I want, it'll be great. If I don't, I can still keep working and prepare again. I feel like for high school students, college applications fill up the majority of their lives and priorities, and it becomes a huge source of stress since they feel like the next couple of years or so will determine the rest of their lives. But since I know for a fact that that just isn't so, I can actually enjoy the prospect of taking these exams again and navigating through life on my own terms - taking my time and preparing for university because it's a passion of mine, not because that's just what you're supposed to do or because it's what all my peers are going. I'm years behind most people my age but I think it'll be one of the best experiences ever.
So yeah... I'm excited to have a short-term goal again, and I can't wait to see what the following years have in store for me!
Anyway, so I'm googling a bunch of schools in China, and looking through all these application requirements, and now I see that I'll need to take the SATs and TOEFL all over again, because my scores have long since expired. And it's different this time because unlike when I was 17ish, with no job and no responsibilities, I'll have to juggle all this test prep with a full time job, since for now I'm the sole breadwinner and I've got mouths to feed (my mom's and my own). It's slightly intimidating, but strangely enough I don't feel so worried. On the contrary, I feel a lot more comfortable this time, and more confident. Not because I feel like I've grown smarter or because I'm a lot older and experienced since my last exams - well, maybe a little bit. It's just that this time I'm more aware of the fact that it's really not such a big deal. I don't feel any pressure to get the best scores possible (although, obviously, I'll still study hard), or to get into an exceptionally prestigious university, or to not disappoint my parents. For me now, university is an option, and I'm really not so hung up on outcomes. If I get into the school I want, it'll be great. If I don't, I can still keep working and prepare again. I feel like for high school students, college applications fill up the majority of their lives and priorities, and it becomes a huge source of stress since they feel like the next couple of years or so will determine the rest of their lives. But since I know for a fact that that just isn't so, I can actually enjoy the prospect of taking these exams again and navigating through life on my own terms - taking my time and preparing for university because it's a passion of mine, not because that's just what you're supposed to do or because it's what all my peers are going. I'm years behind most people my age but I think it'll be one of the best experiences ever.
So yeah... I'm excited to have a short-term goal again, and I can't wait to see what the following years have in store for me!
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