It's time for some dirty talk - literally dirty, as in poop.
So constipation is something I've been dealing with since birth. My mom would tell me that when I was a baby, she had to dig out my poop with a cotton swab because it always seemed stuck halfway. While my brother would effortlessly shoot out copious amounts of poop that sometimes even clogged the toilet from its tremendous amounts and thickness; I'd sit for long, excruciating minutes, with my red little face scrunched up in pain, failing to do the same.
I don't think it changed much as I grew older. Daily bowel movement, or even regular bowel movement, is not something I can relate to. I envy with a passion those lucky bastards who wake up every morning and can take a successful dump each time. Me, I'm always counting the last time I went to the bathroom; calculating, worrying, trying to find some sort of permanent solution. I've tried plenty of home remedies: sweet potatoes, all sorts of vegetables, sesame oil, yogurt, coffee etc. as well as different forms of pills, whether they were made of natural ingredients or not. Seaweed extract, bamboo salt with garlic, soy bean pills, you name it. And I've tried my share of straight up laxatives from the pharmacy, both in the States and in Korea. Some of them work ok, but the medicine usually gives me a horrible stomachache and a really bad case of the runs.
This week was a particularly bad one for me, as I hadn't pooped for four days straight. I know for some people that might not seem a lot, but it was really stressing me out since I've been eating more than usual during this time. Usually I don't eat dinner out of habit, but this week I went for that extra meal several times, going for Outback Steakhouse, conveyor belt sushi, curry... plus I snacked on a bunch of junk food too. By Thursday-ish I was feeling horrible: I couldn't concentrate on work, I had sporadic headaches, my stomach felt like it was about to burst and I wasn't hungry but I'd still eat for some reason, and I was stressed about a lot of other things as well (which I think also contributed to the constipation). So as a last resort, I stopped by the pharmacy on my way home from work and bought some laxatives.
This thing is a granular laxative that doesn't taste that bad and is easy as hell. Rip open a package, toss it into your mouth, wash down with warm water. You're supposed to take it on an empty stomach and not after drinking any dairy products, at least two hours after eating and not more than twice a day (morning and before bed). I forgot to take it before I went to sleep, so I downed a packet as soon as I woke up in the morning and went to work on an empty stomach, not feeling hungry anyway.
So for the whole day I didn't feel anything, and figured I would take another packet before bed that day. I had dinner again after work, arrived home and received a phone call from a friend and was about to head out for a coffee when I felt like I had to pee. I went to the bathroom and ended up pooping - really healthy, nice poop! No pain, no effort. I was beside myself with happiness, even more so when I went again TWO more times that night, and once again the morning after. The quality of poop deteriorated a bit for poop numbers three and four, but I was willing to let it slide because I figured it was all the bad poop that had been stored inside me over the past few days.
I can't be completely sure whether it's the magical effects from this laxative or whether my body was just finding release because it was finally the weekend, but either way I'm really pleased with the results and I'm sure I will find use for "Good Morning S" again in the future. I also was reminded from this experience that pure happiness can be found in the simple things: a satisfying dump after days of constipation, a strong hot shower after a long day, the feeling of falling immediately into a deep and dreamless sleep, the fact that there is a day I can wake up without having to set an alarm... I should be more thankful for the many blessings that are hidden in my everyday life.
So constipation is something I've been dealing with since birth. My mom would tell me that when I was a baby, she had to dig out my poop with a cotton swab because it always seemed stuck halfway. While my brother would effortlessly shoot out copious amounts of poop that sometimes even clogged the toilet from its tremendous amounts and thickness; I'd sit for long, excruciating minutes, with my red little face scrunched up in pain, failing to do the same.
I don't think it changed much as I grew older. Daily bowel movement, or even regular bowel movement, is not something I can relate to. I envy with a passion those lucky bastards who wake up every morning and can take a successful dump each time. Me, I'm always counting the last time I went to the bathroom; calculating, worrying, trying to find some sort of permanent solution. I've tried plenty of home remedies: sweet potatoes, all sorts of vegetables, sesame oil, yogurt, coffee etc. as well as different forms of pills, whether they were made of natural ingredients or not. Seaweed extract, bamboo salt with garlic, soy bean pills, you name it. And I've tried my share of straight up laxatives from the pharmacy, both in the States and in Korea. Some of them work ok, but the medicine usually gives me a horrible stomachache and a really bad case of the runs.
This week was a particularly bad one for me, as I hadn't pooped for four days straight. I know for some people that might not seem a lot, but it was really stressing me out since I've been eating more than usual during this time. Usually I don't eat dinner out of habit, but this week I went for that extra meal several times, going for Outback Steakhouse, conveyor belt sushi, curry... plus I snacked on a bunch of junk food too. By Thursday-ish I was feeling horrible: I couldn't concentrate on work, I had sporadic headaches, my stomach felt like it was about to burst and I wasn't hungry but I'd still eat for some reason, and I was stressed about a lot of other things as well (which I think also contributed to the constipation). So as a last resort, I stopped by the pharmacy on my way home from work and bought some laxatives.
This thing is a granular laxative that doesn't taste that bad and is easy as hell. Rip open a package, toss it into your mouth, wash down with warm water. You're supposed to take it on an empty stomach and not after drinking any dairy products, at least two hours after eating and not more than twice a day (morning and before bed). I forgot to take it before I went to sleep, so I downed a packet as soon as I woke up in the morning and went to work on an empty stomach, not feeling hungry anyway.So for the whole day I didn't feel anything, and figured I would take another packet before bed that day. I had dinner again after work, arrived home and received a phone call from a friend and was about to head out for a coffee when I felt like I had to pee. I went to the bathroom and ended up pooping - really healthy, nice poop! No pain, no effort. I was beside myself with happiness, even more so when I went again TWO more times that night, and once again the morning after. The quality of poop deteriorated a bit for poop numbers three and four, but I was willing to let it slide because I figured it was all the bad poop that had been stored inside me over the past few days.
I can't be completely sure whether it's the magical effects from this laxative or whether my body was just finding release because it was finally the weekend, but either way I'm really pleased with the results and I'm sure I will find use for "Good Morning S" again in the future. I also was reminded from this experience that pure happiness can be found in the simple things: a satisfying dump after days of constipation, a strong hot shower after a long day, the feeling of falling immediately into a deep and dreamless sleep, the fact that there is a day I can wake up without having to set an alarm... I should be more thankful for the many blessings that are hidden in my everyday life.
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